A Little Bit Down

Subconscious doesn't stop... A few days ago, I was cleaning my desk and my papers, etc. And I found something that I wrote it many years ago for my Dad... I sat and read. It was after his death that I expressed my feelings and thoughts about him. I just read and didn't cry. But I felt the pain in my heart, I am still missing him. In all these years nothing helped me for this pain. Anyway, then, I forgot. Seems that I forgot. But yesterday, I was on the phone and I was giving my address to the other side for something and the man on the phone was trying to listen to me and to write down my home address... When it finished he wanted to repeate the address and I realized that it wasn't the my home address; this made me so surprised and I corrected my address and then I closed the phone. But I was crying now... Because I gave my old address to this man instead of my own address. For a while I cried... yes, I didn't cry when I read my text about my Dad, maybe I was controlling myself and I didn't want to make myself sad... but in the depth of me, something was working... yes, my subconscious mind whispered suddenly with the image of this address... Actually as they say, subconscious mind is deaf but not blind... especially it's been feeded by the pictures, by the images... Everything in a day are all flowing through the eyes to our depths. Good or bad; positive or negative; ugly or beauty... No, it doesn't select on this way, everything flows into our silent world. And we don't know what will come up the surface of our life sea... So, because of this they say, feed your subconscious mind with nice and positive images... Especially while we are a child... parents should remember this, how important childhood days. In my life, especially in my childhood days, and my youth years I have so many sad pictures. Nothing was easy for me and I lived very stormy days. But I did the hardest voyage; it was to explore myself with all memories and with all pains of the past days. Anyway, just a little bit down... I am glad weekend is coming...